«You?» Ariana was surprised. «What the hell are you doing here? How are you here?» She had seen Michael only a few times. Her husband’s older brother lived in New York and rarely visited relatives. He was always busy, solving some problems, spinning like a snake on a hot skillet.
Each of his visits was considered a holiday. Helen flew on wings, cooked goodies, and cleaned the apartment. Robert perked up. He turned off the TV and hurried to the store for «good» wine, which, however, Michael refused to drink, offering his own.
This time, they somehow kept quiet about the arrival of the favorite son. «Ariana, I’ll explain everything,» said her husband’s brother, guiltily lowering his eyes. «Yeah, please try,» she replied. «I already thought I was going crazy. And Andrew acted like he knew nothing.»
«He wasn’t acting. He really didn’t know. No one except Mom knows I’m here.» Ariana looked closely at Michael’s face. In their short interactions, what stuck with her most was his eternally tired gaze. It seemed the lights had long gone out in this person’s soul. His eyes looked completely empty, and his smile forced. Ariana wondered why his parents didn’t notice this. Or pretended not to.
«Why such secrecy?» Ariana asked. «Did Helen give you the keys?…» «Yes,» he confirmed. «I couldn’t go to them.»
«If you didn’t want to live with them, why couldn’t you just ask us to shelter you? I don’t understand anything.» «I’ll tell you. Just promise me that Dad and Andrew won’t find out about anything.» «Are you hiding from someone? From collectors?» Ariana tried to guess.
«No, I don’t owe anyone anything anymore.» Michael told her that for several years, his business had barely brought in income. He took large loans several times to promote it, but nothing changed. One not-so-beautiful day, everything collapsed completely. He had to close the firm and urgently sell property to pay off debts to banks.
«You see, if not for my vanity, I wouldn’t have gotten in so deep. I needed to cut expenses somehow, tighten the belt, but I didn’t want to! Didn’t want to take a step back. That would mean I failed, that I’m a weakling.»
«Well yeah, you never lose with us,» Ariana replied. Michael snorted. «I just couldn’t show myself as a failure in front of friends, Dad, and brother.»
«Seriously?» Ariana angrily raised her eyebrows. «You risked everything just so no one would think you’re a weakling? Bad news. You don’t have and never had friends.» «Maybe. Now definitely not.»
«Even large enterprises have crises. The coolest companies are on the brink of bankruptcy. And nothing, that step back is taken, work on mistakes is done. What’s shameful in that?» «I know! But I couldn’t do that,» Michael replied irritably. «It’s easier for me to pretend everything’s fine. Simply because it couldn’t be otherwise for me.»
«Does your crown not pinch? Mr. ‘I do everything perfectly’?» Ariana quipped. «It doesn’t.» It seemed her husband’s brother was even a bit offended by these words.
«And now what? Will you keep quietly stealing my sausages?» the young woman asked. «I’ll think of something,» Michael replied. «But I’m ashamed. Ashamed to come to Dad and brother and admit I’m a loser!»
«And sneaking into your brother’s apartment isn’t ashamed?…» «It is,» Michael said on an exhale. «I’m very ashamed of the position I’m in. But I still can’t show my face to Dad. He’s so proud of me, and I… I’m not what he thinks of me. I was never successful, smart, lucky. With business, I constantly had problems. I was all in debt, constantly wriggling, jumping from loan to loan. Just to maintain external stability and not turn out to be a worthless son. If Dad finds out I lost everything and plan to go work for hire, it’ll be a disgrace.»
«I don’t understand,» Ariana shook her head. «Are you really ready to build your whole life to please Dad?» «No, that’s not it,» Michael shook his head. «Mom will accept me any way, but Dad wants me to measure up.»..
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